"Oliver's _____"

[Oliver]

This is really very simple: Do not eat anything! It unfortunately would only save on eating expenses until you succumbed. So, it'd be a personal judgement call as to whether it would actually be worth it. Who knows? It could pan out? 


Next time: have more $$-guaranteed!

[Oliver]

It is simpler than you may think. Simply cut back on expenses and you will have more money!! I am so confident about this magic strategy, that I will offer you TRIPLE * your money back if is somehow incredibly fails!!


*It is here that all the tiny print (or the rapid babling on the radio) kicks in, with all the side-effects,  disclaimers, exclusions etc; (I once while in a Dr's office actually read through a magazine page full of fine print about a certain advertised medicine just to see if someone hadn't put in any intentional gibberish or profanity hidden within for their own amusement---they hadn't) In this case, I need no fine print since you didn't pay me anything. And zero times three used to be zero. 

Next time: I'll let you know then.

[Oliver]

The simplest way is to NOT buy or steal or mooch cigarettes. Without them it follows you couldn't smoke.

IF you do somehow have them, then do NOT light them up! Try to stop buying matches or accepting lights (unless he's/she's a real darlin'). 

If all this isn't enough, think of yourself as a skeleton with paper thin skin and lungs turned to charcoal and gasping for air, in insufferable pain, misery, and great debt for the insidious things and the ruination of all your assets for hopeless medical treatment because you thought it was 'cool' or rationalized 'hey, it's my life to do what I want', while the rest subsidize your expensive medical help. Yeah, you should get a lot of sympathy as you choke.   

[Oliver]

One thing wrong with this country, nay, of western civilization, from Roy Rogers to Hop-a-long Cassity, is that there has been a lot of grandfather clocks made but to my knowledge, not one grandmother clock!!

Of course I didn't Google to find out for sure, but, I've never heard of a grandmother clock. If it is, indeed, true, then I believe there should be the greatest of protests to demand grandmother clocks are made, at least in equal size, quality, price and prestige.

If it requires a march of Washington, so be it. So, go do it, now! And let me know how it turns out. I'll be here doing my important posting, otherwise I'd think about going. But then, who'd feed de doggie? 

[Oliver]

Here is what I just posted on the chatbook:

[Immediately upon turning on the radio a few moments ago someone was saying it was not proper to use the phrase "Happy Memorial Day". I must admit I had never considered that sensitivity. Upon reflection though, I remain unswayed.

For instance, am I happy that a soldier, Harvey Shields, whose name honors the street on which I've lived for 60 years, died in WWII? Of course not. Am I happy that he and so many others died defending our country, the beacon of freedom & hope, so that it would prevail over the evil and tyranny abroad?------You bet I am!

Happy Memorial Day all.]

That doesn't quite defend the traditional saying the way I'd wish. My quandry is, for instance, what about the relatives of the Confederate soldiers? Would there be any sense of happiness for those battle deaths in vein? I wouldn't imagine so. Those relatives would more likely be very proud and thankful for the efforts, though they did not succeed.

Perhaps a more accurate phrase for today would be "Thankful Memorial Day"?

[Oliver]

How well do you believe you know yourself?

Have you ever surprised yourself as to your apparent reaction to, say, some bad news? Or even what was supposed to be good news?

Are you ever anxious and feel you don't know quite why?

Do you feel more hungry for no obvious reason? And the extra food doesn't seem all that satisfying? 

Do you ever wonder if something very wrong internally is happening this moment but it's still a secret from your mind?

Do you ever feel a strange melancholy in knowing most of your life is over?

Do you ever wish you owned no possessions?

IF any of these questions are troubling for you, please do NOT read this blog! There is more to existence than meets the eye. I believe that bad perfume is worse than none at all. Call 719-987-6828 for a free sample! If you order in the next 3 minutes, you get one extra free sample! Not only that, but we'll throw in an old kitchen sink, a $10 or so value! Just clean out the gunk and you're good to go!  Call NOW! Operators are standing by since there are no chairs or stools for them. Now, that's what I call LOW overhead! Yowsah! Yowsah! Yowsah!! 

[Oliver]

All I've ever heard about free radicals were disparaging words and disdain.

To those so set in their ways, what would you have them do? Become slaves?

This is the land of the free, and home of the brave!

So, I believe our Constitootion gives free raticals writes, two, a hole lotta 'em! Salami, salami, balogna...! 

[Oliver]

I sure was the luckiest neighbor to have had such nice people next door for 60 yrs. I'm not as certain about the next 60, though.

[Oliver]

Why is it that the endless topic of "why didn't you stop when you hit my dog, etc;" always assigns blame to the driver--- when it is the owner who let Fido loose OR didn't watch closely enough and Fido escaped?

No sane, normal driver wants to hit an animal. In fact, some may have swerved to try to avoid the animal and were hurt or killed as a result.

Yet, there will always be the blaming owners, sorry and angry over a situation that is clearly their own fault. No wonder there are endless wars etc; A lot of people are simply incapable of seeing some things differently.

[Oliver]

As I've been saying on 2 other bloggs, I have been displaying 2 flags for many months now.

It is a symbol of thanks for this country.

I sense an almost absence of genuine patriotism in my readings or viewings, as though it weren't "cool" anymore.

Things like the Olympics and outer space achievements used to trigger that inner sense.

But the last war that truly was overflowing with patriotism was WWII, before my time. Yet, everytime I read or see a show about WWII, even the negative ones about American Japanese in the camps  or the U.S. involvement indirectly with germ warfare development, I always leave feeling appreciative and supportive for this country.

This is right where I wish to be on this large planet. I assume you would say the same.

Happy Flag Day!

[Oliver]

The newest "host" of the Tonight Show, Conan, makes me think of "Pat Brady" on the Roy Rogers show, an interesting side character but not much more.

[Oliver]

I won't repeat my being upset about Fairchild having the right-of-way as though Bowman is some little insignificant side-street. No one even apparently considered what happens on Bowman after a long long train ties up traffic.

No, all I want to comment is on the idea of making Fairchild a 2-lane instead of an "inadequate" 4-lane street, which it's been forever.

This'll sound weird, but it's for real. I drive a car. Licensed since '65. I wish now to accelerate slowly and not exceed the 30 or 35 limit.

OK so far?

I prefer 4-lane streets, namely Main, Fairchild, Vermilion and Gilbert.

WHY?

To let all of the pressured drivers in a life-or-death hurry to save 10 or 15 seconds pass by instead of being idiots on my rear bumper.

Oh, once-upon-a-time, I was much more like one of those "pressured drivers" but I never rode anyone's bumper like a violent creep.

Happy motoring adventures!

Letter to the "feedback" for Danville:

As for Fairchild no longer being a 4-lane street, I prefer them to allow those to pass me. To them, I unfortunately accelerate way too slowly and worse, I don't cruise up to 9 mph over the limit as they do. I am only considering their harried driving habits. Thank you.

edit note: added the letter

[Oliver]

For the record, regarding my rant last night after encountering the frustrating traffic patterns now at Fairchild/Bowman, Mayor Eisenhauer responded to my "feedback" comments within an hour AND sent a follow-up email at 5:49 AM this morning!  (Wow!)

[Oliver]

I'm sure you know what today is. It is a special day in the year for celebration. Now things will start to cool off until a bone-chilling, beyond frigid day as early as Nov. or Dec. here at 40 deg.N, 87 deg. W. We will probably think back fondly to this sticky, buggy, overly warm day and silently curse the cruel coldness that makes typing these oh-so-necessary posts extremely painful.

Happy Summer Solstice-------------------------

[Oliver]

So much of life is ordinary common daily life.

Yet life is such a mystery. Even answering it all by saying "God created it" should make it a bigger mystery still.

We live on a sphere of many orbiting our sun, one of billions in our cluster of suns in the galaxy among billions of galaxies that may never end in number, a concept that is baffling and frankly, not currently understandable to the keenest human minds.  Equally baffling would be a finite Universe......What's beyond the final matter in space?

And what is the smallest particle?  Is there one? Seems like the tiniest could still be broken down into its pieces.

Of course, none of this would matter if it were not for human thought. It is so easy to take our ability to think for granted. It is simply something we are able to do. But, how are we using our brains to do it? For most of us, it would be seem that thinking is something like driving a car without knowing a spark plug from the radiator....

Speaking of spark plugs, that reminds me of Chuck Barris and the Gong Show. What if your spark plugs don't spark? Your generator doesn't gen? Your pistons don't.......