"Oliver's _____"

[Oliver]

I've heard time and again the entreaty to "stand on your principals".


While in some cases I suppose it might do no harm, especially if the principal in question were willing and able. Personally, my principals were Mr. McDonald, Mr. Yeazel and Mr. Milhaun (sp). Though I'm a jazzy little sports car in comparison to my peers who were big dump trucks, still, I don't believe any of those principals would have cared for my 140 lbs standing on them.

BUT as for as standing by my principals, I could see no harm in doing that, except they're probably very dead by now.

Just wanted to clear up this issue, so you know just where I'll be standing. People have told me they feel I should be out standing in my field, and to stay there.

All from Oliver-- 

[Oliver]

Actually, I think I should offer my god-given talent at torturing (legally it would have to be called "persuading", though) those rather unfriendly citizens of other countries who like to do such things as playing with electric carving knives on our collective necks. (not much fun if you ask me!) My "persuasion" would involve reading my blogs to them, slowly, in my droning manner, and I'm sure they would quickly tell all, a win-win situation since I work real cheap, too and wouldn't mind a captive audience.   

[Oliver]

I'd be interesting in knowing if you've ever dropped your vernacular and if so, why and did it break?

[Oliver]

by M. Edwards, B. Green

(my analysis in parenthesis)


Once in a while,
Will you try
To give one little thought to me,
Though someone else may be
Nearer your heart? (the singer is willing to be lower on the totem pole)


Once in a while,
Will you dream
Of the moments
I shared with you,
Moments before we two
Drifted apart? (the singer did the clinging, the other person did the 'drifting')

Bridge:
In love's smoldering ember,
One spark may remain.
If love still can remember,
That spark may burn again. (obvious signs that the feelings were cooling, futile thoughts that the other person might change feelings)


I know that I'll
Be contented with
Yesterday's memory, (poor self-esteem)
Knowing you think of me
Once in a while. (assumption it might be in a positive way)

(classic response to being rejected after giving one's heart to another in a close relationship, only to have it all handed--or tossed--back with a 'I'm better off without you' verdict while the smuck singer still has hallucinations of it continuing)

My prediction is that this topic will be a one-shot deal. Hope you won't be too disappointed. Thanks. 

[Oliver]

DID YOU EVER WANT TO PLAY PIANO?
In several decades dealing with the matter, here's the easiest way I've discovered to do it: 1st, sit at a piano. 2nd, take the finger of your choice and press any piano key (those black and white wood/plastic things in that long row) till you hear a sound. Viola. You are playing the piano!! Good for you!!


OVERWHELMING WORRIES??
I am NOT advocating this, but I just want to point out the extreme irony in that if you were to worry to death over your overwhelming worries, your worries would have solved all your overwhelming worries.

WANT TO COMPLETE A MARATHON??
Simply do a little each day, say, 10 steps. If you live long enough, you will complete those 26 miles. I'll be very proud of you!!

TROUBLE GOING TO SLEEP?
Just wait until you get tired enough. Humans have to sleep a lot before their final nap. Looking forward to hearing from you in the morning.

NEED SOMEONE TO LISTEN TO YOU?
Why, it should be obvious by now that I'll listen to you!! That's the least I could do for you listening to me for all these years.

THE TV OVER-THE-AIR SIGNALS ARE HORRIBLE WITH THIS DIGITAL CRAP?
My solution is to give up watching. No big loss. You can always count on me for all your entertainment and everything you need to know.

Glad to have been of great assistance!!








 

[Oliver]

I believe I could be of some service to you sometime if you want to get out of going to a meeting. You may simply tell whoever "they" are who ask you why you weren't at the meeting that "Oliver said it was cancelled." So, feel free to use that the next time you need an excuse. Thanks,

[Oliver]

Why? I think they're cute bears, esp. the little cubs. Didn't you have a stuffed panemic bear as a kid? Did you fear it? Of course if you were carrying one around at age 35, well, no comment on that.

This, too, shall pass. People will be passing by their cages just as always before long.

I will admit, though, that as I pedal out in the countryside I cannot force myself to look at a cow for fear of going mad.

[Oliver]

As for the Swine Flu, do you know where I could get some? It's fun to rest a lot, and it's a pretty effective way to lose weight. It's a time to reflect on one's life and the potential purposelessness of it the longer it lasts.

This knee-jerky reaction that any flu is a death sentence is really a sign of the times. I could be very wrong, but normal, healthy people don't usually die of flu or its complications. And with the best medical care ever today, I'd think the time to really have been worried about a flu was during WWI, when a lot of the masses met their maker.

Sneeze in an envelope and send it here. Thanks. 

[Oliver]

Do you still remember certain calendar dates even though they haven't been acknowledged in years? Like, maybe May the 4th was someone's birthday and you used to sent them a card or even call but that was a while back and they never reached back and so you just let it go even though you still happen to remember it?

That's life. 

[Oliver]

Many times over the years I have heard talk about my gration. Many of the talks were lengthy and perhaps more in-depth than I'd care for.They seemed to center around "paths and/or patterns" as in flying or whatever. 

Still, the problem for me is the selfishness involved. In all these years I have never heard even a peep about your gration.

I think it is only proper and mannerly to never forgot that other people have grations, too.

So next time you or I get so focused on our own gration, please let us at least mention all the other grations and they will love you and give you a great big kiss!

Regards, 

[Oliver]

I was thinking of a good spot to put the following. This seems the best. Few people ever read it, and if they do, they never comment. So, here I won't risk your ridicule, or whatever.

First the first time in my life today, I actually lost money. It was the currency change I got from Aldi. I did put the 64 cents in my change holder. I didn't know the paper money wasn't there till I got home. I did return there to exchange two can items for a different flavor and foolishly asked if anyone had turned in some money (no, of course) but there's always a chance someone might have handed the money to a cashier if it had been lost in the store up front. Maybe it happened outside. I'll never know.

BUT the reason I'm mentioning this at all is because there's an unusual twist to this.
When I check out, I try to be a quick as possible. Like you, I get tired of slow customers who seem mostly oblivious to the rest of us in line.

Anyway, when I get any change, I take it and get out of the way. I go to the bagging area, not to bag, but to put the money away in my wallet and as usual, to look at the receipt. I had bought TWO boxes of Bran Flakes, (rather unusual for me) but it was rung up THREE times. Since it wasn't busy, I got her attention quickly and got my 1.50 refund.  Sorry to say she didn't offer any apology, but said it was a "mis-ring".

If that mistake hadn't happened I would have routinely put my change away and have lived happily ever after. I think I simply stuffed the bills into a pocket. I'm thinking it probably fell on the floor in there and someone picked it up. (yet, it wasn't very busy)


Reflections: Oh, I'll survive, but I don't think I've ever lost any money before. Believe me, I'd bet I'd remember. I've always been a penny-pincher. In later years I've been keeping track of every dollar--by necessity. (the balance is, literally, in a small book I keep at home)

Maybe someone did something nice with it, shared a hot dog with a friend, or gave it to the Red Cross or maybe they just needed it. It probably made someone happy. So, you might say that it was a good deed of sorts.

Still, I believe I would've turned it in. If I had found it, I'd feel the proper thing to do would be to turn it in to a cashier for them to judge if a person coming forward saying he/she lost some money seemed sincere. They often hold onto forgotten items, etc;

The thought would cross my mind that since a lot of Aldi customers don't have all the money to spend like the County Market or WalMart people, they probably need that money they dropped.

A conscience and consideration for others: Are they as abundant as ever in these times?  It seems so at times. At other times not so. Regards,     

[Oliver]

Actually, I have nothing important to say ever. I just like saying "important announcement". ("Cement" is one of my favorite words, by the way, along with "thus" and "chiropractor")

So, how is life treating you? You're well, I trust......This  I assume is by your eating sensibly each day by-and-large so you don't become by-and-large.....Ha ha, just a little play on words....And I know you walk or do something to use your body the way it was intended each and every day. And you do brush your teeth after every meal, of course. Oh, and they really are pushing the sleep deal. Now they say kids who sleep more will turn out more healthy. Anyway, you'll be snoozing at a regular time I assume. Oh, and worry. You don't worry very much I assume. It wipes out brain cells. And you, I'm sure, never wear your snowsuit outside? That's bad luck over in Japan.

Anyway, you know your Oliver is concerned for you. Without you his day would not be nearly so full. You help him feel full, thank you. In fact, he is full of it.

Regards, 

[Oliver]

It's not so hard to do if you simply stay active, eat right, be happy and not sad and/or angry the way everyone else is, be alert and not catch any diseases, don't have any accidents, have good genetics and be lucky. See? Nothing to it.

[Oliver]

Hope this isn't a repeat, but, so what?

ONLY FIVE Easy Steps To Playing A Piano

1) Get a piano.
2) Skip this step. Go to the next step.
3) Sit comfortably in front of the keys, like Liberace. (showing your teeth is optional)
4) Choose which hand you want to be playing.
5) Use any finger or thumb and press on any white or black key.

You have just PLAYED the piano!! Easy!!

[Oliver]

Basically it's up to you to figure out just how, where, why, etc; to do it, but, you need to drill a hole through the wall in question. It needn't be very large either. (it depends on the thickness of the wall: if it's the Great Wall of China, then it would need to be a larger hole than if it were a wall of a mobile home)

Next time: How to live without eating.